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    On reaching his plane seat Banta is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
    He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky you cow!"
    The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
    When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whisky you idiot".
    Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
    Unaccustomed to such slackness Banta tries the parrot`s approach, "I`ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I`ll kick you".
    The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
    Plunging downwards the parrot turns to Banta and says "For someone who can`t fly, you complain too much!"
  • Confessions! A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together.
    One said to the other three, 'People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.'
    The others agreed.
    Then one said...
  • E-mail for a widow! An Illinois man left the snow filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.
    His wife was on a trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
    When he reached his motel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
    Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address...
  • Old ghost! Santa and Banta left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly.Banta screamed, 'Look at the window. There`s an old ghost`s face here!'
    Santa sped up, but the old man`s face stayed in the window. Banta rolled his window down part way...
  • Golfing lesson After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, 'Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?'
    'Yes,' the golfer responded.
    'Did you happen to hook your ball so that it...
  • Wrong side of bed!!! A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast.
    On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, 'Good morning sisters' and they reply in a sing song manner, 'You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.'
    This stuns the priest who thought he had been very polite but he just goes on.
    He encounters a Brother a little while later along the way and he says...
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